just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
