My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
