but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
