never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
