i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
