TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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