Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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