he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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