I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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