Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
