So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
