Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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