well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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