i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
