fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
