And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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