Kiss
Puke
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
