So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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