and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
