Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
