Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
