This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
