i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
