if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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