Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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