If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
