Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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