Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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