I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
