I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
