Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
