Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The maid of honor just puked.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
