My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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