I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
