That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
