tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
