He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
