he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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