yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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