i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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