Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
