the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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