ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
