I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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