He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
