You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
