flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
