You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
