OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
