I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
