That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
